Skeptigator wrote:

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Actually I disagree with the rewrite, it's way too long for a mission statement IMO. That's more like a charter or mini-op-ed piece. I'm not saying any of it's wrong just not appropriate for the use I was thinking (it's also a bit confrontational). I could be wrong, it's been known to happen. I think the original is much shorter and to the point and paints the organization in broader strokes.

I also disagree with "join together = of like mind". I think the 2nd sentence could be reworded to be more inclusive of those "still searching" and wouldn't necessarily identify as rationalist. But to be honest if someone is going to make the committment to a group they will have already come to a point where they are more rationalist than anything else.

Freethought Fort Wayne is a community-based organization affiliated with the Center For Inquiry Indiana. Freethought Fort Wayne offers rationalists and secularists in the greater Fort Wayne, Indiana area the opportunity to join together with others of like mind to put their principles into practice and work for positive change in society. We provide an ethical alternative to religious and paranormal worldviews and seek to protect civil liberties, defend reason and work toward increasing scientific literacy.

Or perhaps (rework of sentence 2 and the last sentence encompasses the four core concepts from mighty's "recycled thoughts")

Freethought Fort Wayne is a community-based organization affiliated with the Center For Inquiry Indiana. Freethought Fort Wayne offers individuals in the greater Fort Wayne, Indiana area the opportunity to join together with other rationalists, secularists, freethinkers and those searching for an ethical alternative to supernatural worldviews to put their principles into practice and work for positive change in society. We seek to protect civil liberties, defend reason, increase the public understanding of science and provide an open forum for discussion.

I like "community-based organization" and "greater Fort Wayne, Indiana". Although I'm fond of the word "environs", Skeptigator's wording is more inclusive. Inclusivity is also why I chose to use the phrase, "of like mind". It allows the reader to decide whether she is of a similar mind as us and avoids the need to enumerate all the various labels (thus avoiding the risk of leaving out somebody -- oops, forgot the humanists and Brights).

As for the last sentence, I think my version flows better but I'm not so in love with it that I'm opposed to changing it.

I also agree with Skeptigator that a mission statement should be a short encapsulation of values, scope and purpose and that exposition is better left for the charter.

AndysCatHouse wrote:

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FreeThought Fort Wayne is affiliated with the Center For Inquiry Indiana and we support those in the greater Fort Wayne, Indiana area who are seeking an ethical alternative from supernatural, metaphysical, and superstitious dogmas. FreeThought Fort Wayne is a clear thinking oasis which strives to fortify our secular constitution, government, freedom of conscience, ethics, capitalist economy, and full scientific inquiry. Moreover, FreeThought Fort Wayne educates about skepticism and the demarcation between real science and the pseudosciences such as alternative medicines (quackery), psychic and paranormal claims, creationism, and the placebo effect. It is near imposable to beat the joy and reverence from science such as Carl Sagan's "The Pale Blue Dot"or having one's own DNA genome sequenced and participating in one's interconnectedness to every living plant and animal.

A little too much sloganeering for my tastes. I think you're striving more for a vision statement rather than a mission statement. Also, and this just may be my leftist roots, but the mention of fortifying our capitalist economy seems rather odd in context. Finally, while I Carl Sagan, I'm just of the opinion that mentioning him, or anyone else, in the mission statement is superfluous. Awaiting feedback from others.